Sunday, September 05, 2010

Floods drought and climate change


THE army has been called in to assist emergency services battling flood emergencies across Victoria.
Victoria Police deputy commissioner Kieran Walshe says flooding so far is most widespread in the state's northeast where both the Kiewa and King rivers are on the rise.
Extra police have been deployed to support emergency services and the army is being asked to carry out flood damage assessments tomorrow.
"We are in the process of making a request for some Commonwealth assistance," Mr Walshe said in Melbourne this afternoon.
"We will go through the defence forces looking for assistance to help particularly around rapid impact assessment, which will need to be done tomorrow."
The public is asked to avoid sightseeing in flood-hit areas.

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In a far far away land known as Oz, there is a unique climate. Unlike the rest of the civilized world, Oz is unique in many ways but most importantly is the climate.  It is a climate of extremes where flood follows drought as surely as night follows day. It has always been that way going back to the dreamtime.
A few years ago Oz went into one of those inevitable extremes in the never ending cycle flood and drought and there was drought and the people of Oz experienced the  inevitable drought.
The elders, who were knowledgeable and wise sat around the campfire and discussed secret men's business.
The elders began to discuss something called Climate Change and they were worried.
It was concluded that because of Climate Change, it would be pointless to build more dams because it would never rain again. In fact, to even suggest building more dams would show that the elders had been negligent of their responsibilities.
The elders passed laws to protect the little water that was left. Restrictions on people washing cars, watering gardens, and showering were put into place. This was important because it would never rain again.
Of course, farmers continued to grow cotton and rice in the worlds driest continent because this was business and business was good. In fact farmers consumed 70% of available water but it was up to the city folk to restrict their usage of the precious remaining water.
And so it came to pass that more and more people would talk of Climate Change.
So the elders came up with a plan to combat Climate Change. They would build a desalination plant to take water from the sea, which there was infinite supply and through a complex process remove the salt and pipe the water to the people. This would cost billions upon billions of dollars but what was the alternative? It would never rain again!
And so it came to pass that just before the desalination plant began operation, the floods came and there was no more drought. The Gods were angry with the elders and soon the people would know the truth and also become angry with the elders because they had been duped. And eventually the people would stop talking about Climate Change and realize that flood and drought have always been part of the land of Oz since Noah began building his ark.

1 comment:

Patrick Carroll said...

Here endeth the lesson!

Great post Lexcen!