Friday, July 19, 2013

Getting to Australia (An instruction manual)

So you want to get to Australia? I don't blame you...

1.Get on plane and fly to Indonesia

2. Pay bribe to Indonesian officials to let you into Indonesia on spurious/false premises.( ie Q.How come you have no luggage? A. Just a short stay...)

3. Contact people smugglers who will pack you onto boat like cattle. (probably real reason you won't need any luggage) Don't forget to destroy passport and all other forms of I.D. that got you into Indonesia.

4. Once on board ship, prepare for inevitable sinking of ship just off Indonesian waters.

5. Wait for Australian navy to arrive and rescue you.

6. If you are lucky enough not to drown, you will find yourself at Christmas Is detention camp. Contact bleeding heart legal authorities and plead your case for refugee status. Make sure you claim you are escaping from threats to your life from war torn country (pick one from list)
Try to get your photo in newspaper (make sure to pull sad face)

7. Wait as Australians tear themselves apart trying to decide on policy of what to do with "refugees"

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