Saturday, February 10, 2007

Award for Business Enterprise

I found this article hilarious.
The first item that I ever created targeted at a specific religious community was actually to get a laugh at Catholics. I noticed a lot of post on the Internet asking where people could buy a cilice. I thought this was hilarious, because I remembered the cilice from Dan Brown's novel. Then, after spending about 3 days unsuccessfully searching through the Internet trying to find one for sale, I recognized a unique market niche that needed to be filled. One drunken night on eBay, I posted an auction for a cilice, which ended up selling for around $80. This actually put me in an awkward position since I hadn't actually made one yet and really didn't know where to start. I spent the next 48 hours learning how to make them, and since time if this posting have sold over 100 cilices on eBay for anywhere between $10-94. While the majority of customers are just nice devout faithful...

From some of my cilice customers on eBay:

Hi! I was wondering if I could get one of these custom ordered with a longer length and thicker.
No problem. I can adjust the size for no additional cost, within reason.
Great. I was taking some measurements (THANK GOD FOR DOG COLLARS, LOL) and would like one about 9 inches in length and 3 inches in thickness.
That sounds reasonable. Go ahead and purchase one, and I'll make sure to size it with your specifications.
Thank you. I have placed the order. One more question: IS THIS SAFE TO TIGHTEN AROUND THE NECK?

I didn't even bother answering that last question. As I've already stated, I hate stupid people, and I saw this as my opportunity to remove one from the face of the Earth via Darwin Award-worthy means.

Hello. I am leaving for seminary in Rome in one week. If I ordered one now, would I receive it before I left? Thanks.
Yes. If you ordered it now, you would receive it within 2-3 days.
Hello again. Thank you for your quick reply. Some of the others I know leaving for seminary are also interested in ordering these. Do you have more in stock?

I'm all about capitalism and the freedom to do what you want in the privacy of your own home or to your own body, but the idea of an entire generation of seminary students wearing one of these things kind of creeps me out. I sold them, of course, but it's still creepy.

Hi! I recently ordered one of your cilices and would now like to get one for the woman. I just wanted to let you know how much we love wearing these together, and thank you for having such an oddball item available for sale.

To get my girlfriend in the mood, I usually take her out to dinner. If I'd known I could just strap a pseudo-torture device to her leg, I'd have been saving money for ages!

Anyway, you get the point. I will make fun of anyone anytime I see fit, and I will enjoy it, because I'm justified in doing so.

5 comments:

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

I don't know what to say, Lexcen. The world has become so alien to me.
As I wrote in my post "A world in motion" it seems that humanity WANT pain and horror....So, let them have it.
But I don't understand any more, how we can judge violence of any kind.
It's has become a part of our amusements. I am sure that those who do it to others, are sadists and expect that everybody else are submissive and like it as well.

So HOW can they then understand that they suddenly are brought to court for violence?????????

Lexcen said...

Kirsten, my theory is that human beings are just another species of animal. Animals can be cruel for entertainment, or territorial or to be the dominant male. Why should humans be different? Yes, we do manage to tame our most violent inclinations because we must live within a society, but the fact is that violence is just another part of human behavior. I think the problem of understanding (humans)is based on an idea that humans are somehow superior to other species.

none said...

I guess I need to read the book.

How do they work as torture devices?

Lexcen said...

Hammer, the cilice is barbed and worn around the thigh, the barbs dig into the flesh.

none said...

Maybe if we are lucky these people will do themselves in with these devices.

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