Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Football Grand Final

Today is the biggest day in the sports calendar of Victoria. That's because today is Grand Final day for football fans. Others might argue that the Melbourne Cup is the biggest day in the calendar on the first Tuesday in November. Of course today nobody is going to talk about anything else but football.

My participation in this event is purely that of an alien that has landed on earth to observe curious behavior and rituals.

At an early age, the individual decides to make a personal allegiance to a football team. The rationale for this decision is totally irrational.
Once this allegiance has been decided, the individual will consider themselves a fan, a follower, a watcher and aspire to become a member of the club. The team colors will become symbolic and full of emotional significance to the fan, who will adorn themselves with as many items of clothing that bear the team colors as well as an extensive range of merchandise and paraphernalia that also has the team colors.
There will be a steep learning curve during which the fan will memorize a huge amount of statistical data that relates to the teams achievements. This will include games played, games won, scores of these games, the number of finals won, the names and personal details of all team players going back from now and at least the last ten years.
Initial social contact with other individuals will always follow a ritual by which the team followed will be proclaimed. Upon which there will ensue and argument as to why each fan's team is deemed to be the better team.
All fans will be experts on every aspect of the game and will be vociferous in their expression of their expert knowledge. Many discussions will fill many wasted man hours concerning details of the game, players, strategy, achievements and failures.
The private lives of players will be incessantly put under acute examination and behavioral failings will be discussed and dissected ad infinitum.
The emotional bonding with the team will be extreme as the fan will experience either euphoria with the teams success or manic depression if the team fails to win a game.
Players of football will become television personalities, politicians or spokespersons for a variety of products promoted on television ads.

No doubt football is a religion that should be studied further.
In such studies we might gain further understanding of the behavior of the biped that inhabits planet earth.

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1 comment:

Jeannie said...

I'm an alien in regard to all such sports.