Putin's Zombie Gun

Mind-bending ‘psychotronic’ guns that can effectively turn people into zombies have been given the go-ahead by Russian president Vladimir Putin.

The futuristic weapons – which will attack the central nervous system of their victims – are being developed by the country’s scientists.

They could be used against Russia’s enemies and, perhaps, its own dissidents by the end of the decade.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2123415/Putin-targets-foes-zombie-gun-attack-victims-central-nervous-system.html#ixzz1qpMGz4Yk

In Australia we have already perfected the weapon which turns people into zombies, it's called sport.
If you arrive in Australia from another country you might notice the obsession with people ranting endless sequences of numbers. No, they are not mathematicians, they are sports fans discussing sport, sport results, sport statistics. Mention science or art and their faces go blank. Mention politics and conversation inevitably turns to sport. Monday morning at the office, the conversation revolves around sport results on the weekend. Friday morning at the office and the conversation revolves around sport on the weekend.
Nothing to do? How about a video of classic sport games, football grand finals, America's cup races, tennis,golf,horse racing...
I've just heard a news report claiming that Australian children risk burnout from too much sport.
Intense training schedules. Pressure to win and be the best. Painful injuries. Given all these factors, it’s not surprising that some athletes simply burn out on their sport. But what is shocking to many in the field are the young ages at which this is increasingly happening -- sometimes as early as 9 or 10.
Mr Putin could learn a lot about crowd control if he only visited Australia.

The Football Grand Final

Today is the biggest day in the sports calendar of Victoria. That's because today is Grand Final day for football fans. Others might argue that the Melbourne Cup is the biggest day in the calendar on the first Tuesday in November. Of course today nobody is going to talk about anything else but football.

My participation in this event is purely that of an alien that has landed on earth to observe curious behavior and rituals.

At an early age, the individual decides to make a personal allegiance to a football team. The rationale for this decision is totally irrational.
Once this allegiance has been decided, the individual will consider themselves a fan, a follower, a watcher and aspire to become a member of the club. The team colors will become symbolic and full of emotional significance to the fan, who will adorn themselves with as many items of clothing that bear the team colors as well as an extensive range of merchandise and paraphernalia that also has the team colors.
There will be a steep learning curve during which the fan will memorize a huge amount of statistical data that relates to the teams achievements. This will include games played, games won, scores of these games, the number of finals won, the names and personal details of all team players going back from now and at least the last ten years.
Initial social contact with other individuals will always follow a ritual by which the team followed will be proclaimed. Upon which there will ensue and argument as to why each fan's team is deemed to be the better team.
All fans will be experts on every aspect of the game and will be vociferous in their expression of their expert knowledge. Many discussions will fill many wasted man hours concerning details of the game, players, strategy, achievements and failures.
The private lives of players will be incessantly put under acute examination and behavioral failings will be discussed and dissected ad infinitum.
The emotional bonding with the team will be extreme as the fan will experience either euphoria with the teams success or manic depression if the team fails to win a game.
Players of football will become television personalities, politicians or spokespersons for a variety of products promoted on television ads.

No doubt football is a religion that should be studied further.
In such studies we might gain further understanding of the behavior of the biped that inhabits planet earth.

Sport, violence, ethnics.

Q.What do you get when you mix these elements?
-sport, culture, deep seated hatred of other nationalities...

The answer to this question is below, but first let me explain the significance of sport in Australia.
Sport is the obsession that preoccupies the typical Australian's mind. Forget about war in the Middle East, forget about the starving millions in Africa, forget about the threat of Islamists. These are trivial and insignificant matter in relation to sport. Our six o'clock news on TV starts with sport, then the rest of the news for maybe ten minutes then followed by sport for another twenty minutes. The newspapers are ranked according to how many pages they dedicate to sport. It's an national tradition to read the paper backward, that is starting with the sports section at the back.
News stories lead with sport on Mondays following an active weekend of activities. Analysis follows on Tuesdays. Wednesdays are relatively free of sports news. Thursdays it's the buildup of excitement for the weekend. Fridays it's nothing but talk of sport. Weekends are nothing but sport.
I might be taking all this too seriously except that ex-olympic athletes turn to a career in politics because they have the advantage of a high profile. Other ex sports people become television presenters andTV personalties. The highest rating TV show is called the Footy Show, with skits and mindless chatter by ex footballers and other sports enthusiasts.

Ok, so it comes as no surprise when I read the news this morning to learn that ethnic prejudices have erupted in violence at the Australian Tennis Open Championships.