Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Mea Culpa

I must confess, I am guilty.
Guilty of crimes against my community, guilty of crimes against society, guilty of crimes against the economy, guilty of crimes against the environment and to put in bluntly I'm personally responsible for most of the ills of the world today.
I've only just realized this so I mustn't hesitate to confess my crimes.

Let's begin with the fact that I have an air conditioning unit in my home. This makes me guilty of putting a strain on the national electricity grid. In fact I'm personally responsible for the steep rise in electricity prices because my turning on my air conditioner at the hottest part of the day coincides with peak demand on electricity resources forcing the electricity company to build extra capacity to cope with the increased demand.

In fact, we could say that climate change is causing extremes in weather, resulting in a steep demand in electricity by people using air conditioners and we all know that I'm personally responsible for climate change. It's because of my selfish and inconsiderate use of my motor vehicle spewing out carbon monoxide exhaust into the fragile atmosphere.
Needless to say, me using the air conditioner is also causing the power stations to release more carbon into the atmosphere...adding to the problems of climate change.

Having retired early at 55 rather than opting to keep working into my mid seventies, I have personally put a strain on government resources which is collectively known as the 'rapid ageing population crisis". You must have heard that governments all around the world are facing disaster because their countries populations are ageing too fast resulting in insufficient young workers to pay the taxes government requires to finance spending.

And the Global Financial Crisis has been caused by me as well. My personal spending financed by easy credit provided by the banks has contributed the the sovereign debt problems. Banks are on the verge of meltdown because too many people like myself have defaulted on my mortgage.

The medical system is on the verge of collapse because of me. I've been putting a strain on the medical system because of declining health due to my age and because I've been exercising my right to access free medical care.

Oh, by the way, my disability pension has also put a strain on government finances because there has been a dramatic increase in the number of people claiming the disability pension.

No doubt, the government sorely misses the taxes I used to pay but no longer pay because I no longer am employed. Balancing the countries budget has never been more difficult since I quit my job.

And there has been a steep fall in property values because I've stopped buying real estate.

And there is an underlying risk of inflation because of me, the consumer, flush with easy credit, I've been spending money like there's no tomorrow.
What have I been buying? Cheap goods made in China. That means poor Chinese workers are being exploited and underpaid to satisfy my consumer needs.

And and and it's because I've been watering my garden and washing my car with precious "drinking water" that our dams have been depleted of precious water reserves. The drought is all my fault.

Mea Culpa

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