Friday, December 04, 2009
Dear Elin Nordegren
Dear Elin,
I've heard you've been having some problems lately. Tiger has been a bad boy.
Look, I know I'm not rich, in fact I'm dirt poor but having seen your photo, I'm sure we're soul mates. If only you would meet me I know you would see what I mean.
I'm not as tall as Tiger but then you really don't mind because you want me for my mind and incredible sense of humor.
I don't have as much hair as Tiger but I promise I will always be faithful to you and I know that matters more than hair, wealth, lifestyle...
I'm not as young as Tiger but I'm sure that maturity and stability are what you need in your life right now.
Don't hesitate to give me a call.
Labels:
Tiger Woods
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Labels
- 1929 Wall Street Crash (1)
- 4th July (1)
- 7 July 2005 London bombings (1)
- 9/11 (1)
- A.Q.Khan (1)
- Abdel Kareem Nabil Suleiman (1)
- aboriginal (1)
- Aboriginal history (1)
- Aborigines (8)
- Abstract art (1)
- abstract painting (1)
- Abu Bakar Bashir (1)
- Abu Ghraib prison (1)
- actors and politics (1)
- Advertising (1)
- AFDI (1)
- affluence (1)
- Afghanistan (2)
- Africa (1)
- African politics (1)
- Agriculture (1)
- Ahmadinejad (1)
- Ahmed Elomar (1)
- Aid (1)
- Al Qaida (1)
- Alain (1)
- Alain de Botton (1)
- Alcoholism (1)
- Aluminum Corporation of China Limited (1)
- Andrew Sullivan (1)
- Android (3)
- Andy Warhol (1)
- anti rape (1)
- anti-Americanism (1)
- Anxiety (1)
- APEC (2)
- Apps (1)
- Art (20)
- Ash Wednesday fires (1)
- asylum seeker (3)
- Atheism (1)
- Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (1)
- Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (1)
- Australia (31)
- Australia 1955 (1)
- Australia Day (3)
- Australian art (1)
- Australian Defence Force (1)
- Australian flood and drought (2)
- Australian immigration (1)
- Australian saints (1)
- Australiana (1)
- Australians (2)
- auto-biography (2)
- AWB (1)
- Ayaan Hirsi Ali (1)
- Ayatollah Khomeni (1)
- bad manners (1)
- bad news (2)
- Bailout (1)
- Bali (1)
- Barack Obama (1)
- Batman (1)
- Batman movie review (1)
- Beauty (7)
- Behaviour (1)
- behaviour and algorithm (1)
- beheadings (1)
- Belgium (1)
- Bertrand Russell (1)
- BHP Billiton (1)
- bi-polar (1)
- Big Beautiful Woman (1)
- big women (2)
- Billy Connolly (1)
- biography (2)
- biological warfare (1)
- Bipolar disorder (1)
- birthday (1)
- bittorrent (1)
- Black Dahlia (1)
- blog stats (1)
- bloggers (2)
- blogging (3)
- Blogging for health (1)
- Blu (1)
- boat people (2)
- Body building babes (1)
- Body image (1)
- Body piercing (1)
- Bolivian Highway (1)
- book review (1)
- books and movies (2)
- Borderline personality disorder (1)
- Boston (1)
- Botanical gardens (1)
- Bottle water (1)
- Bottlenose dolphin (1)
- Boy Scouts (1)
- breastfeeding (1)
- breasts (1)
- Brett Whiteley (1)
- Brett Whitely (1)
- Brigitte (1)
- British National (1)
- brothel (2)
- bucket meme (1)
- bureaucracy (1)
- Bureaucrats (2)
- Burkah (4)
- burqa (1)
- burqah (3)
- Bushfire (2)
- Bushfires (8)
- Buttersnatch (1)
- Cacti and Succulents (1)
- Cactus (1)
- CAIR (2)
- Canadian Human Rights Commission (1)
- Candida (2)
- Candida Albican (1)
- Candida Albicans (1)
- Candidiasis (1)
- Capital punishment and Sharia Law (1)
- Capitalism (1)
- Carbon credit (1)
- Carbon Credits (1)
- Carbon dioxide (1)
- carbon tax (2)
- Carbon trading scheme (1)
- cartoons (2)
- Catholic Church (3)
- Catholic priest (2)
- Cats (5)
- celebrities (1)
- Celebrity and fame (1)
- celebrity cult (1)
- celibacy (1)
- celibacy and religion (1)
- censorship (3)
- characters (1)
- Charles Darwin (1)
- Charlie Hebdo (1)
- chauvinism (1)
- child abuse (4)
- Child crime (2)
- China (2)
- chocolate cake (1)
- Chris Lane (1)
- Christian nudists (1)
- Christiansex (1)
- Christine Nixon (1)
- Christmas (15)
- Christmas day (1)
- Christmas gift ideas (1)
- Christopher Caldwell (1)
- civilization (1)
- climate change (15)
- Climate science (1)
- Coincidence (1)
- colloquialisms (1)
- comedy (1)
- Comminsure (1)
- community (1)
- computer art (1)
- Conduct Disorder (1)
- cons (1)
- Consolations of Philosophy (1)
- conspiracy theory (1)
- consumerism (1)
- Contermporary Art (1)
- Convert to Islam (2)
- copenhage summit (1)
- copyright (1)
- Corporal punishment (1)
- Corporate Pop music (1)
- Corruption (1)
- Cosmology (1)
- cost cutting (1)
- Crime (1)
- crime does pay (1)
- Criminal justice (1)
- criminals (2)
- criticizing Islam (1)
- Cultue wars (1)
- Cultural aggression (1)
- Culturalism (11)
- culture (10)
- Culture war (1)
- culture wars.culturism (1)
- culturism (14)
- Dalai Lama (1)
- Dali (1)
- Dambisa Moyo (1)
- danger (1)
- Danish cartoons (1)
- Danny Nalliah (1)
- Dark Knight (1)
- David Hicks (2)
- Dead Aid: Why Aid Is Not Working and How There Is a Better Way for Africa (1)
- Deadwood (1)
- Death (1)
- Decline of the West (1)
- Defense policy (1)
- Dementia (1)
- Democracy (3)
- Depression (2)
- Design (1)
- Desire (1)
- Dhimmi (1)
- Dictators (1)
- Diet (1)
- digital art (1)
- Discrimination (1)
- Disorders (1)
- disturbed (1)
- diverticulitis (1)
- dogs (1)
- Domestic violence (1)
- Domino theory (1)
- Donald Horne (1)
- Donald Rumsfeld (1)
- doppelgänger (1)
- Doug Harrington (1)
- Dr Elizabeth Blackburn (1)
- Dr Tim Flannery (2)
- Dreams and the subconscious (1)
- drinking water (2)
- Drive by shooting (1)
- drought (4)
- Drowning (1)
- drugs (1)
- Dwarf (1)
- Easter (2)
- Eclipse of the moon (1)
- economic meltdown (1)
- Economic policy (1)
- economic refugees (1)
- Economics (10)
- economy (1)
- EDL (1)
- Education (6)
- efficiency (1)
- Egypt (3)
- Election strategy (1)
- Election violence (1)
- electric cars (1)
- electricity (1)
- Elisabeth Sabaditsch-Wolff (1)
- Emissions trading (2)
- English (1)
- English education (1)
- English language (1)
- Ennio Morricone (1)
- environment (5)
- epilepsy (1)
- Erotica (1)
- eroticism (1)
- Ethics (1)
- ETS (1)
- Europe and Islam (2)
- Euthanasia (3)
- EV (1)
- Evil (2)
- Evolution (5)
- Evolution and abortion (1)
- Evolution meme (1)
- exotic plants (1)
- Extremists (1)
- Facebook (1)
- Faith (2)
- fanatics (1)
- Far North Queensland (1)
- Fashion (9)
- fashion police (1)
- fat. (1)
- Father Christmas (1)
- Favorite books (1)
- Fear (1)
- February 2009 Victorian bushfires (1)
- Feminism (1)
- fidelity (1)
- finance (1)
- Firefox (1)
- Firefox and MS Media Player (1)
- Fistful of Dollars (1)
- Fitna (1)
- flickr (1)
- flood (2)
- Floods (4)
- flowers (1)
- Food (1)
- food allergy food intolerance (1)
- Football (1)
- Foreign policy (1)
- Fort Hood (1)
- Fractal art (1)
- fractals (2)
- Fred Hollows (1)
- free market (1)
- Freedom of Religion (1)
- Freedom of Speech (5)
- Full moon (1)
- Funny news (1)
- funny pix (1)
- G20 (1)
- Gaddafi (1)
- Galileo Galilei (1)
- Gangland news (1)
- Garage sales (1)
- Garden gnomes (1)
- Gardening (2)
- Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras (1)
- gay muslims (1)
- gays (1)
- Geert Wilders (3)
- Genetic engineering (4)
- Genetically modified food (1)
- gentic engineering (1)
- Georgia (1)
- Germain Greer (1)
- Girlfriend Experience (1)
- Global Financial Crisis (1)
- Global warming (3)
- globalisation (1)
- Globalization (1)
- GM crops (1)
- Goat (1)
- God (5)
- gold-diggers (1)
- good versus evil (1)
- Google (3)
- googleartproject (1)
- government (2)
- Great Apes (1)
- Greed (1)
- Greek Easter (2)
- greenhouse (1)
- Greenhouse gas (2)
- greenouse effect (1)
- Grevillea robusta (1)
- Gripes of Wrath (1)
- Ground Zero Mosque (2)
- guilt by association (1)
- Gun control (1)
- Guns (2)
- guns and children (1)
- gypsies (1)
- Hamas (3)
- happiness (1)
- Happy University (1)
- Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall (1)
- Hardline Muslim clerics (1)
- Harry Seidler (1)
- Hate Speech (3)
- Head (1)
- headscarves (1)
- health (7)
- health and evolution (1)
- Health care (1)
- HealthInsurance (1)
- Hearts and Minds of Muslims (1)
- Hijab (2)
- Hizb ut-Tahir (1)
- Hizb ut-Tahrir (1)
- Ho Hum (2)
- Holocaust memorial day (1)
- honor killings (1)
- How Proust Can Change Your Life (1)
- How to spot a terrorist (1)
- Howard Florey (1)
- Hugh Hefner (1)
- Hugh Laurie (1)
- Human brain (1)
- Human Growth Hormone (1)
- Human rights (3)
- Human Rights and Islam (1)
- Human Rights Commission (1)
- humor (74)
- humour (42)
- Ice Cream Sandwich (1)
- ideology (2)
- illegal immigrants (1)
- Illegal immigration (3)
- Images of Mahommed (1)
- Imagine this (1)
- Immigration (1)
- immortality (1)
- In Cold Blood (1)
- Index finger (1)
- Indians and culture (1)
- Indigenous (3)
- indoctrination (1)
- Indonesia (2)
- Influenza pandemic (1)
- information (1)
- Inglourious Basterds (1)
- insanity (2)
- Insurance (1)
- intelligent design (1)
- interest rates (1)
- International student (1)
- International Women's Day (1)
- Internet email scams (1)
- Internet scams (1)
- iPad (1)
- iPhone competition scam (1)
- IQ (1)
- IQ and Muslims (1)
- Iran (3)
- Iraq (1)
- ISIS (3)
- ISIS in Australia (1)
- Islam (104)
- Islam and incest (1)
- Islam and Jesus (1)
- Islam in Australia (1)
- Islamic hygiene (1)
- Islamic State (1)
- Islamification Europe (1)
- Islamism (1)
- Islamist dickhead (1)
- Islamists (4)
- Israel (1)
- Italy (1)
- IVF (1)
- James Foley (1)
- Japanese Whale Hunting (research) (1)
- Japanese whale research (1)
- JC Hutchins (1)
- Jehovah's Witnesses (1)
- Jihad (5)
- Jihad and Islam (1)
- Jihad and WMD (1)
- John Galliano (1)
- John Maynard Keynes (1)
- John Olsen (1)
- Joker (1)
- jokes (1)
- Jon Ronson (1)
- Julian Assange (2)
- Justice (2)
- Justice Michael Kirby (1)
- K (1)
- Karadzic (1)
- Karma group (1)
- keffiyeh (1)
- Keiko Matsui (1)
- Keith Floyd (1)
- Kenya (1)
- Khalid's confession (1)
- kleptocracy (1)
- Koalas (1)
- Kramer (1)
- Kveta (1)
- La Primitiva (1)
- Lady Gaga (1)
- language (4)
- Lauren Bentley (1)
- Law (1)
- League of Nations (1)
- Lexcen on Economic policy (1)
- Lexx (2)
- Life expectancy (1)
- Life Insurance (1)
- Life of Pi (1)
- Literature (1)
- LittleBigPlanet (1)
- Lucian Freud (1)
- Made in China (1)
- Major depressive disorder (1)
- Management (1)
- Manus Island (1)
- marijuana (1)
- Marketing and Advertising (1)
- Marketing strategy (1)
- Marxism (1)
- Marysville (1)
- Max Ernst (1)
- McMafia: A Journey Through the Global Criminal Underworld (1)
- Meaningful Outcomes (1)
- media (1)
- Media hype (1)
- media spin (1)
- Medicare (1)
- Medicine (2)
- Melbourn comedy festival (1)
- Melbourne International Film Festival (1)
- Melbourne Robert de Niro (1)
- Melbourne summer (3)
- Meltdown (1)
- Meme (4)
- memes (1)
- Men's fashion (1)
- men's handbags (1)
- Mental Health (2)
- Michael Crichton (1)
- Michael Jackson (1)
- MIddle East (1)
- Military strategy (1)
- Minarets (1)
- Mind of the Musulman (1)
- mini pigs. (1)
- Minorities and multiculturalism (1)
- Miss World (1)
- mistaken identity (1)
- Mobile home (1)
- Moderate Islam (1)
- moles (1)
- Monsanto (1)
- Monty Python (1)
- morality and war (1)
- Morsi (1)
- Mothers' Day (1)
- movie review (3)
- Movies (5)
- Multi -culturism and Islam (1)
- multi-culturalism (4)
- multi-culturism (3)
- multiculturalism (4)
- Museum (1)
- music (3)
- Musings (1)
- Muslim (70)
- Muslim atrocities (1)
- Muslim Brotherhood (4)
- Muslim discrimination (1)
- Muslim extremism (1)
- Muslim Hip Hop (1)
- Muslim humor (1)
- Muslim immigration (1)
- Muslim integration (1)
- Muslim propaganda (1)
- Muslim reformists speak (1)
- Muslim schools (1)
- muslims (38)
- Muslims in government (1)
- Myotherapy (1)
- Myth of Mental Illness (1)
- Nagasaki (1)
- Naked (1)
- naked art (1)
- naked bike riding (1)
- Naked protest (1)
- native title (1)
- neighbors (2)
- Neo Nazis (1)
- New breasts (1)
- New Year (1)
- news (1)
- Niall Ferguson (1)
- nipples (1)
- Niqab (3)
- No comment (1)
- Noah's ark (1)
- Nobel Peace Prize (1)
- Norman Lindsay (1)
- North Korea (1)
- Nuclear (1)
- nuclear power (2)
- Nuclear weapons (1)
- nudity (1)
- numbers (1)
- Obesity (2)
- obsessions (1)
- Odyssey (1)
- offensive (1)
- Oil (3)
- Olympics (2)
- Once Upon a Time in the West (1)
- Online shopping (1)
- only about me (1)
- Opinion Poll (2)
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder (1)
- oral sex (1)
- orchids (1)
- orgasm (1)
- Oscar Pistorius (1)
- Outcome-based education (1)
- Outcomes Based Education (1)
- Paint (1)
- Painting (2)
- Palliative care (1)
- Panama Papers (1)
- Pandemic (2)
- Papal fashions (1)
- Paradigms (1)
- paranoia (3)
- Pat Condell (6)
- Pauline Hanson (1)
- PC humor (1)
- peace loving Muslims (1)
- Peacekeeping (1)
- penis poll (1)
- people (2)
- people smugglers (1)
- perception blindness (1)
- perceptual blindness (1)
- personal (4)
- personality test (1)
- Peter Carey (1)
- Peter Singer (2)
- Petitions (1)
- pets (1)
- Philosophy (5)
- photography (9)
- photos (6)
- Picasa (1)
- Picasa 3 (1)
- Pin stripe nazis (1)
- piracy (1)
- pix (1)
- plastic surgery (1)
- poetry (2)
- points of view (1)
- political activism (1)
- political cartoon (1)
- Political correctness (4)
- politically incorrect (1)
- Politically incorrect censorship (1)
- politics (2)
- Politics of Sexuality (2)
- polygamy (1)
- Pompeii (1)
- pop singers (1)
- Pope Benedict XVI (1)
- Pope Pius XII (1)
- popups (1)
- porn (2)
- Porn addiction (1)
- Porn hysteria (1)
- pornography (1)
- Port Douglas (1)
- portrait (1)
- poverty (1)
- power failure (2)
- Priesthood (1)
- Prison (1)
- Privacy (1)
- privatisation (1)
- privatisation sucks (1)
- profile (1)
- prophesies of doom (1)
- Prostate (1)
- prostatitis (1)
- prostitution (2)
- protecting the children (1)
- Protectionism (1)
- psychology (1)
- psychopaths (2)
- public panic (1)
- Putin (1)
- Puzzle (1)
- Qu'ran (1)
- Quit Smoking (1)
- Racism (11)
- Racism? (1)
- radical Islam (1)
- rain (1)
- Ramadan (1)
- Rape (1)
- Reality television (1)
- Rebiya Kadeer (1)
- Recipes (4)
- Red Bubble (1)
- Refugee (2)
- Refugees (9)
- religion (27)
- religion and the mind (1)
- Religion of Peace (2)
- Rembrandt (1)
- Rio Tinto Group (1)
- Ritz-Carlton (1)
- Roberto Saviano (1)
- Robin Williams (1)
- Roman Catholic Church (1)
- Romanians (1)
- ROPMA (2)
- Royal Commission (1)
- Russia (3)
- Saddam Hussein (1)
- Saint John Paul II (1)
- salt (1)
- Salvador Dali (2)
- Sam Harris (1)
- Santa Claus (1)
- Satanic Verses (1)
- Saudi sponsored terrorism (1)
- Save the planet (1)
- Savings (1)
- sayings (1)
- Scams (1)
- science (4)
- science and religion (1)
- Science fiction (1)
- Scientific Research (1)
- Scientology (5)
- Scientology and religion (1)
- Screen Capture (1)
- Sealy mattress (1)
- Serbs (1)
- Sergio Leone (1)
- Sex education (1)
- Sex survey (1)
- Sex Work (1)
- Sex worker (1)
- Sexual harassment (1)
- sexuality (1)
- sexuality in art (1)
- Shakespeare (1)
- Sharia Law (3)
- ShariaLaw in UK.culturism (1)
- Sheik Omran (1)
- shower (1)
- shroud of Turin (1)
- Simon and Garfunkel (1)
- Single Malt Scotch (1)
- Sir Mark Oliphant (1)
- Skeptical Inquiry (1)
- skinny dip (1)
- Sneezing (1)
- Society and Culture (3)
- Solomon Trujillo (1)
- Sony (1)
- Spaghetti Western (1)
- SPAM (1)
- speed cameras (1)
- Spirituality (1)
- Sport (3)
- Srebrenica (1)
- Starvation (1)
- Status Anxiety (1)
- Stephen Fry (1)
- Stephen Hawking (1)
- stoning (1)
- storm damage and floods (1)
- stupidity (1)
- Style (2)
- Subprime lending (1)
- sugar (1)
- suicide bombers (1)
- summer snow (1)
- Superstition (1)
- Surfing (1)
- Surrealism (2)
- Survival (1)
- Svante Arrhenius (1)
- Swine influenza (5)
- Symbolism (1)
- Syria (1)
- Tagged (2)
- Taliban (1)
- talking cats (1)
- Tariq Modood (1)
- Tariq Ramadan (1)
- tax (1)
- taxes (1)
- tech stuff (1)
- Technorati (1)
- TED (1)
- Telstra (1)
- terrorism (16)
- Terrorist doctors (1)
- Terrorist funding (1)
- Terrorist organizations (1)
- Terry Jones (1)
- Thanksgiving (1)
- the arts (1)
- The Bible Unearthed (1)
- The Borg (1)
- the Caliphate (1)
- The Constant Gardener: A Novel (1)
- The Dickhead award (1)
- The Good the Bad and the Ugly (1)
- The internet and misinformation (1)
- The Lucifer Principle: A Scientific Expedition into the Forces of History (1)
- The Odessa conspiracy (1)
- the Pope (1)
- The rich (1)
- the universe (1)
- Theeconomic meltdown (1)
- theinvisible hand (1)
- Theo Van Gogh (1)
- Theology (1)
- thieves (1)
- Thinking Blogger Award (1)
- Thomas Szasz (1)
- Tiger Woods (1)
- Tim Winton (1)
- Time machines (1)
- Time travel (2)
- tinkering (1)
- Titanic (1)
- tits (1)
- Tolerance (1)
- Tolerating Muslims (1)
- Tolstoy (1)
- Tom Tom (1)
- too much money syndrome (1)
- Torture (3)
- Travel (1)
- Tribal Law (1)
- Trojan horses (1)
- Truman Capote (1)
- Truth (2)
- Twitter (1)
- Ulysse Nardin (1)
- UN security council (1)
- United Nations (1)
- United States (1)
- US illegal immigrants (1)
- Vacation (1)
- vaginas (1)
- vaginoplasty (1)
- value (1)
- value of opinions (1)
- Vatican (1)
- Victoria (2)
- Video game (1)
- videos (1)
- Viet Cong (1)
- Violence (2)
- Violence and Muslims (1)
- violence ethnics (1)
- Vista administrator bypass (1)
- Visual Arts (3)
- Vladimir Putin (1)
- Wahabism (1)
- War and Peace (1)
- War Crimes (1)
- War on Drugs (1)
- War on Terror (1)
- Warning (1)
- Warrior Citizen (1)
- Water (2)
- Wealth (1)
- Weapons of Mass Destruction (1)
- Weird News (1)
- welfare (1)
- Western culture (1)
- What is Faith? (1)
- Wikileaks (2)
- windows live (1)
- Wisdom (1)
- Wollemi pine (1)
- Woody Allen (1)
- world oil reserves (1)
- WTF (1)
- Yann Martel (1)
- Yasser Arafat (1)
- You Tube (1)
- Yusuf al-Qaradawi (1)
- Zimbabwe (1)
18 comments:
After she cashes in the $300m prenup settlement, I'm sure money won't be her problem.
btw - I'd say more, but I lost my train of thought....
I'll be waiting for her with open arms, money won't sway me;-)
[insert demeaning comment about roast beef sandwich here]
Why did she bother covering up her left breast?
Maybe she was cold.
...at least I'm not the only one walking around with embarrassing dingleberries...
"Dingleberries"? I'm sure there's another word for what we're talking about and I could discuss this at length (pun intended). In fact I've read about a growing trend in cosmetic surgery for women to their vagina restructured to be more aesthetically pleasing. And this leads to the thought of who exactly they want to show their vagina to? Or do some women spend an extraordinary amount of time with mirror in hand contemplating their bodily imperfections? Thinking that money spent wisely at the plastic surgeon is the secret to true happiness? Truly an awesome subject.
Nope, I think that klingon's a dingleberry...
...actually, more of a muffleberry.
It's one of the drawbacks of going commando.
wow.....
I'm loving my granny panties right now.
Bwahahahaaaaa!
It's what's on the inside that counts.
Is that a hangly-dangly? So much for leaving something - anything to the imagination...
The last time I saw dingleballs like that one, I was riding in a low-rider '64 Chevy Impala...
They sure don't make 'em like they used to.
Makes me think of the 60s Cadillac with fins.
[keeping crass jokes about drawstring bags to myself]
Post a Comment