Thursday, May 10, 2007

Is there no end to the bad news?

I've been struck down with this bug and that bug recently so I've been looking an unhealthy shade of green, green complexion, green at the gills you might say.
Mega doses of antibiotics have been pumping through my veins. Fever has come and gone at irregular intervals.

There is always hope, hope that one day I'll get better and have something to look forward to.

But no, ye Gods are laughing at me. The latest news is just too awful to contemplate. Oral sex apparently causes throat cancer. This means another trip to the doctor for some more tests, yes I am a hypochondriac and I've just recently suspected I might have diabetes. I'm always thirsty and have recurring dizzy spells more often than ever before. Low blood sugar could imply diabetes.

But why o why must oral sex be bad?

What is there left to live for?

Wearing condoms is the first line of defense against STD's and I reluctantly follow all necessary precautions. But please, oral sex?

I think I'll just shoot myself, after lamenting the lack of water, the power shortage resulting from a lack of water supply to power companies, the ozone layer is thinning, the world is running out of oil, the greenhouse effect and global warming, the bees are dying in the northern hemisphere, fish stocks are dwindling in the oceans, HIV is rampant, the population is aging, there aren't enough old age homes to meet demand and those fortunate enough to get into an old age home are malnourished, the hospital system is collapsing, there aren't enough doctors around and those we do have can't speak English, bird flu is just waiting to kill me, antibiotics are losing their efficacy and there's a pandemic just around the corner, the Muslims are taking over the world and now I'm told oral sex causes cancer.


Jenafear said...

That's a lot of bad news. I know a couple of people who caught STDs that way.

Sorry you are not feeling well, hope you feel better soon.

Jeannie said...

I'm guessing it's the papilloma virus causing the throat cancer. If so, there is hope! They have an immunization for papilloma - they are trying to get all the young girls to get it to avoid cervical cancer.
Hope you feel better soon.

Hammer said...

Get better soon! and don't fret I don't think you'll get throat cancer from oral sex. ;)

Lexcen said...

Thanks everybody for your kind thoughts.

southfield_2001 said...

I remember a story a couple of years ago that said oral sex was healthy and semen might prevent cancers. If I remember correctly, beaj posted it on a messageboard we both used at that time, he might remember the exact premise of the study.
I guess it's like eggs: one day you shouldn't eat them, the next day you should.
In the meantime, hide the story from your wife, never mention it again and try to fool her into believing some good blow jobs will make your flu go away.

Lexcen said...

Southfield, it seems that anything that's enjoyable is bad for our health. I'll forage for the old study and stick to that one.

Kirsten N. Namskau said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kirsten N. Namskau said...

Ohhh Lexcen, I'm laughing out loud. I can just "SEE YOU" with a condom on your tongue!!!!!
(What size would it be? With or without taste and ears?)
Cheer up, friend. It comes another day.

Lexcen said...

Kirsten, only YOU can see me as I really am:-)