Is there no end to the bad news?

I've been struck down with this bug and that bug recently so I've been looking an unhealthy shade of green, green complexion, green at the gills you might say.
Mega doses of antibiotics have been pumping through my veins. Fever has come and gone at irregular intervals.

There is always hope, hope that one day I'll get better and have something to look forward to.

But no, ye Gods are laughing at me. The latest news is just too awful to contemplate. Oral sex apparently causes throat cancer. This means another trip to the doctor for some more tests, yes I am a hypochondriac and I've just recently suspected I might have diabetes. I'm always thirsty and have recurring dizzy spells more often than ever before. Low blood sugar could imply diabetes.

But why o why must oral sex be bad?

What is there left to live for?

Wearing condoms is the first line of defense against STD's and I reluctantly follow all necessary precautions. But please, oral sex?

I think I'll just shoot myself, after lamenting the lack of water, the power shortage resulting from a lack of water supply to power companies, the ozone layer is thinning, the world is running out of oil, the greenhouse effect and global warming, the bees are dying in the northern hemisphere, fish stocks are dwindling in the oceans, HIV is rampant, the population is aging, there aren't enough old age homes to meet demand and those fortunate enough to get into an old age home are malnourished, the hospital system is collapsing, there aren't enough doctors around and those we do have can't speak English, bird flu is just waiting to kill me, antibiotics are losing their efficacy and there's a pandemic just around the corner, the Muslims are taking over the world and now I'm told oral sex causes cancer.