Friday, September 22, 2006

Danger Warning

We all know how hazardous life can be in modern times. Children are always just a hairs breath away from fatal injury when near a stove, they might pour boiling liquid on themselves. All chemicals in bottles have warning labels telling us not to drink the liquid, and worse of all, children can't read these labels. Playgrounds have been deemed danger zones that a too hazardous for children, they might fall off the equipment and hurt themselves. Our government has legistlated many years ago for helmets to be compulsory attire when riding a pushbike. There are strict laws that specify all swimming pools must be fenced off to protect the children from drowning. Fireworks were banned many years ago because children were injuring themselves with those pesky little explosives. But worse, much worse than this is the danger of throwing eggs. That's right, scientific research has been conducted to prove, and to warn the unsuspecting public that throwing of eggs can lead to blindness. But even worse than this, even more dangerous than this the humble doormat has been labelled a health hazard. Warning, danger, beware there are hazards at every turn, trees have been known to leap out and hit cars for no reason at all. I'm staying home today, I'm not going to work, it's too dangerous.

5 comments:

Intolerant said...

Oh boy...eggs. Anything jammed into your eye is going to inflict damage...pencils can be especially tough, take it from me. We need more warning notices.

Little Lamb said...

Yes, living is very dangerous. We better watch out even as adults.

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

y'know what? I grew up right after the last world war, we climbed the trees to the top, went to the shores to swim in the sea alone, drunk water right from the tap, rode the bike without helmet and balancing the bike not holding the steer, playd ball in the middle of the street, skipped the shower at bedtime, used the same clothes for up to 3 days.... d'you know what???
SURPRICE. . . I'm still alive...

Lexcen said...

I think paper cuts are lethal. There should be a warning on that as well.
Kirsten, I will be lobbying for tree climbing to be banned. BTW, I was one of the first to break my ankle on a skateboard in 1965. I rode my bike into a moving car (no helmet) and I'm still alive. I tore my knee cartiledge when running to answer the phone. I scraped my knees countless times while running and falling over.
I've fallen off a ladder. I'm lucky to be alive when I look back at how dangerous I've lived.

Lexcen said...

Hold the PRESS, the government plans to put a WARNING on alcohol. Apparently it causes cancer.

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