Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Cat and Dog Diaries

the Dog's Diary

7 am
oh boy! a walk! my favorite!

8 am oh boy! dog food! my favorite!

9 am oh boy! kids! my favorite!

Noon oh boy! the yard! my favorite!

2 pm
oh boy! a car ride! my favorite!

3 pm oh by! playing ball! my favorite!

6 pm oh boy! welcome home mom! my favorite!

7pm oh boy! welcome home dad! my favorite!

8 pm oh boy! dog food! my favorite!

9 pm
oh boy! tummy rubs on the couch! my favorite!

11 pm
oh boy! sleeping in my people's bed! my favorite!


The Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat , while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing at the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

I decapitated a mouse today and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty kat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear noise and smell food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to something called "allergy". Must learn what this is and use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.



3 comments:

BHCh said...

:-)

none said...

I knew they were up to no good.

Kirsten N. Namskau said...

Ohhh dear... What's better...to be a cat or a dog...or a bird.
Animals are so lovely...we do our best, but do they feel it is to their best...

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